Anxiety. I so relate to this.
Anxiety. I so relate to this.
Three way kisses!
We definitely need a photographer!
First off, I have to say that the first time I ever heard the term Unicorn used in the context of polyamory was in this Kimchi Cuddles comic:
When Loki and I first started opening our relationship, that comic completely reflects what I was expecting. To find an attractive, bisexual woman, attracted to us and willing to become part of our existing relationship… I thought it would take us forever to find someone like that.
We’ve laughingly told Echo about her unicorn status. But the explanation above regarding the rarity of finding someone like her doesn’t even being to encompass the depth of how special she is.
She’s sweet - she’s always thinking of us, our feelings, our kids, the health of our marriage; and sending us sweet text messages throughout the day. She’s funny - she completely shares our sense of humor, and isn’t afraid to make a silly face or act like a dork. She’s passionate - her kisses, her body, her adventurousness; she gives you all of herself when she’s loving you, and smiles as she does it. She’s talented - she sings opera amazingly, she works in a highly complex professional field, she’s crafty. She’s resilient - she’s been treated badly in the past, but she’s still trusting and open, and hasn’t let her past experiences make her bitter. She’s patient, kind, loving, compassionate, empathetic, intelligent… And oh my god sooo beautiful.
I don’t know how I got so lucky, to have two such amazing people in my life. Loki and Echo are my best friends, my lovers, and my teachers.
Sometimes I get jealous or feel left out, but those times don’t come close to diminishing the life-changing love and joy I feel when we’re together.
Three-way sexting!! So fun, and so many possibilities! :)
Thanksgiving was a quiet affair. Echo went out of town, and we opted not to go anywhere, so it was just me, Loki, and the girls. It was very nice to not have to cook a ton or deal with familial drama.
The girls spent a few days with grandma, which was great. We got a lot of adult time together as a triad. The more time I spend with Echo, the more things I find to love about her. Her sense of humor, her adorable facial expressions, her willingness to try new things. She’s so incredibly kindhearted, and understanding.
Loki and I had a bit of a fight Friday night. Again, a communication thing. Echo had offered to do something to help him, a very huge thing, and Loki never told me about it. I know he doesn’t mean to do it, but it hurts when I feel out of the loop or forgotten about.
I’m feeling more comfortable now, but it can still be hard to be around Loki and Echo a ton. They’re completely adorable with giddy new love, and are flirty and all over each other. I love that they feel that way but sometimes it’s lonely for me. Echo is the last person he kisses at night and the first one he reaches for in the morning. During sex, he is nearly completely focused on her. Again, it’s understandable. She’s new and exciting. But it does make me a little sad… Feel a bit left out.
I know they both try so hard to include me and make me feel loved. I think this is sort of normal for our situation. I try to keep the negative feelings to myself because I know they’ll pass and I’ll be happy again.
But, in case anyone wondered, this is why I send Loki to be with Echo at her place so often - so they can focus on each other and not have to worry about me. It’s good for all of us.
I love what we’re doing. I love being with Echo, both by herself and with Loki. The love between the three of us, the kisses, caresses, hand holding… It’s amazingly good, and so worth these minor problems.
Really tough right now.
Visiting her parents. We are not out to them.
The three of us had some plans for the holidays. Now her mom has pretty much planned a week long family trip for them during that time… Which obviously doesn’t include me.
They want to go, but not for that long because we had plans. But they’re struggling to try to explain “we had plans with my husband’s girlfriend” without saying as much, of course.
That’s really sad, to be treated like you’re not a valid participant of the relationship. It’s never fun being excluded for any reason.
We have the opposite problem. Echo likely won’t be able to come out as poly to her parents for a long time. They’re very conservative and will likely be very upset. She goes home (across the country) for the holiday every year and I don’t know if we’ll ever be able to join her.
Photographing the love.
How do you take a picture of the amazing 3 way kiss? Someone’s head is always blocking the shot. We joked about suspending the camera from the ceiling.
So I feel like an idiot, but I can’t figure out how to reply to replies. Can any help me? I googled it and tried a few suggestions and nothing works. I usually tumblr on my iPhone, but I’m on the laptop right now, using Firefox.
This is us, on the first night as a triad. I’m on the right, Echo in the middle, and Loki on the left. Echo has a very conservative family, so we’re not ready to show faces yet.
To clarify, Loki and I are married (we’re the two on the outsides), and Echo is our new squeeze (in the middle).
The most important thing in any healthy relationship is good communication. This is crucial in polyamorous relationships. The original couple should discuss, at length, openly and honestly, what each both wants and doesn’t want out of a potential partner. Set some ground rules and goals.
It is also incredibly important to continue communicating, all the time. As the relationship grows, as you meet people, as you accept people into your relationship, things change.
A strong relationship is flexible, and fluid. Rules set at the beginning may not be realistic or important later on. Or new rules may need to be agreed upon. Some things you think you’d never be comfortable with, you may find yourself being completely willing to do later, as you grow to love more.
So Loki asked Echo to be his girlfriend, and then today during dinner she asked me to be her girlfriend. :)
Omg we’re officially a triad!! I’m feeling so excited, so happy!!! The future is so uncertain but so exciting. :) I can’t believe how lucky I am to have two such amazing people in my life, who love me back!!!
I love giving Loki and Echo alone time because it’s so good for them to bond and play. But I hate missing them, and missing out on the pleasure and fun. I want to experience everything with them! I’d be a little more satisfied if Loki was better about describing things so I could at least satisfy my voyeuristic compersion. I want to hear all the dirty, sexy, lovely details!!!
Now I miss two people. I can barely get any work done because I’m thinking of how much I’d rather be with them.
Echo and Loki are out for some one on one time, so I decided to shop for some new toys. I bought a rabbit, a clitoral massager, and some restraints. I’m REALLY looking forward to playing with them, both alone and with my loves!!